Urban Drool

Dear Boy,

I remember the day that I met you, sprawled out on the stage at the theatre where we were having our first rehearsal. When you looked up at me and introduced yourself, I remember thinking to myself,

“Wow. His eyes are a really soft brown…but there’s those green flecks all around. If we have babies together they might have those gorgeous eyes.”

No. That’s so not true. I actually just thought that you were hot and damn, it had been a long time (nearly 2 years) since I had had a guy, and wouldn’t some post-rehearsal canoodling be nice?

Answer: it was nice. Very nice. So nice that I decided I should marry you!

The day of our wedding was an absolutely wonderful day, filled with love and smiles and flowers. And I truly enjoyed the place where we married and the ceremony. But oddly, I did not really feel any more connected to you at the conclusion of the ceremony then I did beforehand. In a way I feel like I have been “married” to you for quite a longer time then these past 3 years. Does that make sense? You and I have shared such an amazing connection for such a long time, before we were even living together, I think, that the wedding day was like fantastic buttercream frosting on an already existing, truly delicious red velvet cake.

We have been through some incredible times these first 3 years of our marriage, haven’t we?

Year One:

- I failed the Bar Exam, and I was so horrified and upset with myself that you had to spend an entire morning calling all our family and friends to let them know and then carried me into the bathroom and showered me and washed the vomit out of my hair.
- We bought our first house
- You made the hardest decision in your life and left the theatre company that you dreamed up, began, maintained and saw to amazing success for 5 years
- We decided to stop using birth control
- My body decided to stop ovulating

Year Two:

- I got a new job (which, of course, I now hate)
- You got several new jobs…
- You got infections, tests and lots of drugs
- I got examinations, cysts and even more drugs
- You decided to go back to school
- Lucy decided to get conceived

Year Three (i.e. this past year)
- You completed your Master’s Degree with near-perfect grades

…and…

- Lucy

You want to know something? Everyone always assumes that you are some driveling selfish jerk with no control over his emotions and I spend every minute of every day “taking care” of you. I cannot think of a more unfair and inaccurate portrayal of our marriage. There have been innumerable times over the past several years where I would not have made it through the day without you and your support. In the space of a heartbeat you can become the strongest rock in the universe.

Your humor, which always makes me stop, laugh, take stock, and see the situation through more realistic eyes.

Your words, which seem to always equally infuriate and enrapture me.

Your smile, which warms me from the center of my belly through the bottoms of my feet, tips of my fingers and up to the top of my head.

Your skin, which puts forth the most comforting smell in the world to me.

Your mind and soul, with all the complexities and layers that they contain.

Your daughter, your most incredible gift to me. Our wonderful gift to each other. The reason I get out of bed every morning.

These are just some of the things that make our marriage the amazing partnership that it is.

I used to feel very unsure of myself and my role in your life. Why did you pick me? Why am I the one, after you had so many “ones”, that you ended up deciding to share your life with?

I’m still not 100% sure of what the answers to those questions are, but I no longer doubt that I am the woman you want, should be, and are with.

And I love the fact that, despite my certainty of our place with each other, I still wake up EVERY SINGLE MORNING and look over and you and think to myself “Wow! You mean he’s still here? I really get to keep him? I get to love him forever and ever?”

And I will.







I can’t think of anything else I would rather do with the rest of my life than to be yours.

You’re a good man, Charlie Brown. I love you with everything that I have.

Happy Anniversary.