Urban Drool

…he was a very nice man, despite having a penis instead of a ute.

We ended up sitting in his (very lovely Native American themed) office for nearly two hours, just talking. He made me feel very comfortable. We could have been sitting at a coffee shop enjoying some soy lattes, for how easy and free our discourse was. It was nice.

I…don’t know how much I am going to blog (or even speak IRL) about what we did/will talk about. It’s not that I want to keep any secrets or am ashamed, quite the opposite. But, if Wednesday’s appointment was any indication on how future sessions will go, this whole process is going to be very moving and altering, but in a very subtle way. I don’t think I could do justice to this whole thing with just words.

Wednesday was just Part 1 of his “assessment” but he has already started to cobble together a diagnosis of sorts: (I hate using that word, but that’s what he called it)

I have occasional and moderate depression (but it’s not his biggest concern); I do NOT have any type of “actual” Post Partum Depression.
I have a bit of an “adjustment disorder” (again…not a huge deal)
I am presenting with very strong and obvious symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. (his biggest concern)

…basically, he said that I am a highly intelligent, well educated, animated and articulate person. I appear to be out going and very kind and, in general, have a rather cheerful outlook on life. But I was unlucky enough to experience a very traumatic and life-threatening event and am more than a little bit freaked out by it.

I told him that I agreed with his assessment. I told him that my biggest goal was to find a way to resolve what happened and finally move past it so that it no longer haunts me or my family and MOST IMPORTANTLY so that it does not “plague” any future pregnancies/childbirths that fate has in store for me.

He agreed with me 100%.

I see him again at the end of the month.

Good.