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09/23/2006
UPDATED TO SAY...Holy Shit there's a lot of shit that nobody tells you about your shit
When I was pregnant and nearing the end of my 3rd Trimester I spent a lot of time fearing what the physical aftermath of labor and delivery and new parenthood would be like. I pictured torn up vaginas and swollen labias and cracked, painful nipples and such.
As we all know, the vagina remained happily intact due to the Pickle's exit from my body via the alternate trapdoor located downstage right. The nipples were indeed cracked (one still is!) and there were waves of nipple pain for several weeks until I became more or less numb to it, but the worst most definetly passed a long time ago.
What I did not foresee and what NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT (not even Mya's Mommy, the secretive, back-stabbing wench) were:
1) the permanently screwed up/kinked up/tensed up/out of whack back issues
and
2) the complete inability to poop normally. Ever again, Amen.
Since about halfway through my pregnancy and continuing through this very day. (or in other words, FOR ABOUT THE PAST YEAR) I have not had a day go by where my back is not in moderate to severe pain. My shoulders and upper back are constantly riddled with spasm-ing muscles and/or visciously knotted muscles and/or tensed up muscles that never seem to relax. Moreover, the left side of my lower back is in a constant state of feeling as if a huge nerve is being pinched.
The combination results in me occasionally walking around as if I am an arthritic 90 year old crone.
And the poop? Can we please talk about poop for a minute? Um, I have no idea what connection exists between a 9 pound human being being squeezed and lifted from your sliced up uterus and not being able to have a normal bowel movement, but all I DO know is that since the Pickle was born, I have had either horrible constipation or horrible runs. I have intestinal cramping that nearly rivals some of my pitocin-tweaked labor pains. My delicate bits towards the back door area are irritated and even torn up and bleeding a bit from some of my more...um...enthusiastic attempts at emptying my lower intestines, shall we say?
I would like to point out here that my "infant" is now a 7 month old child. And these back and butt issues are just as viscious today as they were the week after she was born.
All I can say about this is .....the hell?
wwwhhhaaaa....?
There is no real reason for this post other than to randomly crank and moan and complain. Frankly, I have not felt "well" since May of 2005 and I am really tired of it. I would love one day, just one day where I wake up and for a full 24 hours I feel moderately well rested and no part of my body is in any type of pain.
I don't see this happening anytime soon, as I don't plan to wean my little Pickle until she is around 15 months old. I will have a bit of a break for about a year or so after that until I get back on Metformin (aka my own special freakishly effective laxative) and try for a second round.
...and with that, I wish you all a good weekend. Next week I hope to get back in the swing of things blogging-wise and maybe do some much-needed slamming of my in-laws. (EDITED TO SAY: Brother in law, not necessarily parent's-in-law) WON'T THAT BE FUN???
04:52 Permalink | Comments (8) | Email this
Comments
Hey, I totally relate on the back pain issue. Mine's been getting worse and worse the heavier El Spuddo gets, to the point that I now have to have physio to be able to lift him. Some assvice on this for you: get it checked out, especially since you mentioned the trapped nerve pain lower left. This is what I had 2 years ago and it turned out to be a herniated disc impinging on the sciatic nerve. Required surgery. Nasty.
Your poop issues sound like irritable bowel syndrome. I had this for years. A couple of things helped. Less caffeine. Less stress. Less dairy. Okay, thats three, not a couple. Oh, and more fibre.
Wanna borrow my tonking fish for the boy and the in-laws?
Posted by: Panda | 09/23/2006
Oh my shit, I'm so glad to read about the back thing. Mine started hurting like hell during pregnancy and the pain has yet to go away. Yesterday I walked a few miles and by last night I thought I'd need to be air lifted from the sofa.
So this is going to last. Fanfuckingtastic.
Posted by: MsPrufrock | 09/23/2006
De-lurking .. hi! I love your blog! I have a son who's six months, so it's great to read about other mom's experiences.
Two of my girlfriends had c-sections and afterwards had terrible intestinal troubles. The rumour I heard was that sometimes things just don't get "put back" right after the section. Both saw a naturopath to get things back on track.
Maybe that's what's causing it ... hope that helps.
Posted by: Jeannie Scarfe | 09/23/2006
It does sound like Irritable Bowel, speaking from experience. Mine has been mostly in check for a few years now, but it flares up here and there, like the last two months of my pregnancy . . . I truly, truly believe the flare-ups are related to stress and for some reason, too much protein. I am not a red-meat person, but whenever I try the shhhhit, I feel like . . . . . shhhiit.
Also, I have been going to get a massage every few weeks since the boo-bah arrived and it has helped some. I had HORRIFIC back issues and saw a pt when pregnant. Warm baths seem to help. Lugging around the above mentioned 17 pound child does not, however.
Posted by: Sara | 09/23/2006
It's possible that a chiropractor could help on all your issues...if your back, neck etc. doesn't hurt, there is less stress and that always helps your intestines. Thank you, Isle of View! Mom
Posted by: Mom | 09/23/2006
Oh my God, I think you have IBS. Welcome to the club. I get attacks usually once a month around my period, or if I eat too much dairy (which is hard because I love dairy) or red meat, or fatty foods in one day. You just have to keep it all balanced. I also can't eat too late at night or things go haywire the next morning. For me, as you know, fiber is the key. Eat a bowl of Kashi Good Friends every morning (the red box). It has 12 grams of fiber in one serving, and totally helps regulate me. My doctor had told me it's best to get the majority of your fiber in during the morning. Metamucil works too, evn if it tastes weird. Apples help calm my belly, and if I know I'm going to eat a lot of crap (like today I shall be gorging as I watch the Browns probably lose) I make sure at some point to cram a salad in there. Just try to eat more whole grains and fruits and veggies, and less fat. Also, for a while after I was diagnosed, my doctor had me eating these Metamucil cracker things. They're hard as rocks and you have to drink at least 8 ounces of water when you eat them, but they helped my belly clam down and get used to the fiber I had to force in it. Hope that helps for your tummy!
Posted by: Jen | 09/24/2006
ohmigod! same here... my back has never been the same. expecting my second and constantly limping around ...
dont know abt the irritable bowel thing though... you sound like you are having a terrible time... do get it checked up...
actually there is so much no one tells you about when you're pregnant... a friend who had a natural birth just bitched out everyone who forgot to tell her how it burns and pains like hell the first time you pee after delivering!!!
Posted by: the mad momma | 09/26/2006
ohmigod! same here... my back has never been the same. expecting my second and constantly limping around ...
dont know abt the irritable bowel thing though... you sound like you are having a terrible time... do get it checked up...
actually there is so much no one tells you about when you're pregnant... a friend who had a natural birth just bitched out everyone who forgot to tell her how it burns and pains like hell the first time you pee after delivering!!!
Posted by: the mad momma | 09/26/2006
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