Urban Drool

Happy Happy everybody.

I feel as though I drifted through 2006, my only tie to the earth being my baby girl. The year ebbed and flowed around me, with wonderful things and horrible things and joyful things and terrible things drifting around me and occasionally smaking into me like pieces of happy happy driftwood.

I have never before been so out of control of my own life.

I had two goals in mind: bring my child into this world and keep both her and me alive.

All the other shit that happened around those two goals was just that: stupid shit.

2007 will be a whole new ball game.

If I am very stressed and very unfullfiled and unhappy with my life (which I am. truth be told, my remarkable relationship with my daughter and husband aside, I'm pretty fucking miserable) then I need to turn to the one person in my life who can change this.

Myself.

I am 3 days into a much healthier eating plan, and although it's probably psychological, I already feel better.

I have written to my old alma mater and requested literature on their part-time evening program so I can see if I can earn a teacher's license.

I spent 3 hours yesterday perusing classified ads, looking for a better office to work in for the next couple years while I earn said license.

I have worn one small thing on my body that makes me feel pretty every day this week. Even if I am always rushing in the mornings (which I always am) and even if I don't have time to put together a nice, coordinated outfit (which I rarely am able to do) I will try and wear one thing, just one thing every day to remind myself and the world that I am a pretty girl. Yesterday? A really pretty necklace the Boy got me for Christmas. Today? A really pretty hair scarf that almost makes my too-thick, out of control black cloud of hair look attractive.

2006 had me by the throat and tried to choke the life out of me. 2007 is never going to get that chance. Pardon my French, but I am going to slap 2007 to the fucking floor and make her my bitch.