Urban Drool

Hi.

I'm not going to be posting for a bit. Just for a bit!

There's just way too much going on right now, and I think I need to focus my energies into searching for a new job, keeping myself from getting fired from my old job, and enjoying my favorite time of the year with my favorite girl.

But I will be reading and commenting every single day.

Be back soon, I hope. In a few weeks, anyway.

In the meantime, I leave you with this little monkey...

Almost every Monday my boss hands me $20 and instructs me to trot across the street to the Panera to buy bagels/muffins/assorted saturated-fat laden wonderfulness for the office.

I usually do not mind this little task, what with the deliciously warm and cinnamon-scented air of the store.

But the store is staffed almost entirely by young(er) women between the ages of 21 and 30.

Who all, without fail, every time I am there, insist on calling me "Ma'am."

When did I become a Ma'am?

Ma'am is 42 years old with 2 cranky pre-teens, trying to load the groceries into the back of her Honda CRV ("do you need any help with those bags, Ma'am?")

Ma'am is 51 years old, beaming with joy at the sight of her son graduating from high school ("you must be so proud of Troy, Ma'am")

Ma'am is the skeptical single mom, meeting her 17 year old daughter's boyfriend for the first time ("it's nice to finally meet you, Ma'am")

Ma'am is 73 years old, trying to get through the doorway of a Cracker Barrel while navigating her way with an absurdly large handbag and a too-long raincoat draped over her arm ("here, let me get that door for you Ma'am")

Is Ma'am one of the very same age group as the Panera girls themselves...youthful and full of vinegar at a spritely 29 years of age?

Is Ma'am's hair always pulled back in a ponytail with a scrunchtie? Is Ma'am's cell phone bright pink and shiny with glitter?

Is Ma'am's husband young and hot and just the right combination of Johnny Depp, Jack Nicholson and Kevin Smith?

I guess so.

To this I can only say: When the fuck did this happen?

So, folks...

I went to my stats today (which is odd becuase unlike someone who shall remain nameless but who just might happen to live with me and whose name might just rhyme with "the Toy," I never look at my stats because I don't give one pee-diddle about my stats) and saw that I have had around 1800 visits this month.

Which, when I went to check just now, was pretty comparable to the number of visits I have had every other month (it usually ranges between 1200-1900).

What struck me was that the "number of pages read" thingy for this month is over 17,000.

17,000 pages read.

When most months (as I learned today through some sleuthing) there are around 2,000-4,000 pages read.

17,000 pages read this month.

I did a closer search and saw that someone went through and read my entire blog. The whole thing. They did this between September 18 and September 24.

Huh. Now, I'm not sure if I'm really flattered or kind of paranoid and disturbed. See...aside from the Boy, my MIL and two very close girlfriends, absolutely no one in my "real" life knows where to find my blog. And I am a little wigged out that someone who knows me (or used to know me) has invaded my little corner of the universe.

So...I ask you dear readers, was it any of you all? If you are someone who has been reading me for awhile and comments every now and then and for some reason just decided one day to go ahead and re-read the whole blog...well...that's fine. I'm sure it was about as stimulating as a castrated rooster in a same-gender-oriented henhouse. But if it was someone who knows me and knows that I would not want them reading my blog and becuase they know this they are not making themselves known...then...to that I say: please stop.

Or at least email me or comment here and let me know.

Ok. That's it.